To the Clients Who Stiffed Us…

Doing work for a client is a lot like a ransom situation. You have the product, they have the money. You don’t want to give them the product until they give you the money, and they don’t want to give you the money until they have the product. Classic stand-off. Tarantino should do a movie.

Most of the time, the creator gives in first, and if all goes according to plan, the client is happy to pay what’s owed. But sometimes you hand off the product, only for the client to speed off in their jet black motorbike and hightail it back to whatever sinister lair they crawled out of.

Here are five stories from creators who were stiffed, and what they’d say to their no-good ex-clients if they were to ever see them again.

Steve Schwedt

Role: Freelance Sound Mixer

In 2006, I was living three-deep in a two bedroom Hollywood apartment, struggling to get by as a freelancer in film production. I had just wrapped up work on an independent feature film shot in a scummy warehouse in the south of Los Angeles, downwind from a slaughterhouse that would periodically vent the stench of pig death.

The production company called and offered me a job on their next feature, some B-horror movie to be shot in the same warehouse. The filming would be primarily at night and I knew we would be averaging 14-hour days, working six days per week for two weeks. They offered me a promotion from my position on the last film, along with a raise. I would be making almost minimum wage.

The producer, who vaguely resembled The Penguin from Batman, oozed shadiness. I should have known better, but they did pay me for the last film, and I had friends working on it. The production company cranked out a bad genre film almost every month. Each film had a different set of investors, directors and writers. The company would form a new LLC for each film. I went into the company’s office for a meeting where I signed a contract. They never gave me a copy of it.

The film went about as could be expected. We had Jack In The Box for breakfast every day at 3pm, and the meals went downhill from there. We struggled to meet our unrealistic schedule, and began to fall behind. At one point, one of the actors asked me, "On a scale of one to ten, how messed up is this?"

"7.8," I said. I thought my assessment was accurate.

We finished the film, and even had a wrap party. A week went by and I began to expect my check in the mail. After a few days I emailed someone asking if it had been sent out. Eventually, group emails began to circulate expressing furious anger and suggesting class action lawsuits. I took to calling the producer at three in the morning, as this is what I had been led to believe was a normal working hour. He never responded. After a while it became clear the producer had no intention of paying anyone.

I heard that the company had gone over budget on their previous feature, and used the current investor’s money to finish it. They were hoping to attract new investors for their next film, and use that money to finish the current one. They never found new investors.

Eventually, a couple friends and I filed suit in Los Angeles County small claims court. The scumbag producer never showed up and the court ruled in our favor. Having a court judgment does not give you the right to forcibly enter someone’s home with a baseball bat to collect payment, so we turned the matter over to a collection agency. Now, ten years later, I’m still waiting for my money.

If I ever saw that producer walking down the street, I would probably ignore him. But if he ever tried to hire me for another project, I would hope to have a thesaurus present so I could call him every nasty name in the book. I hope he has failed in any more recent attempts to hire a crew or defraud investors. I know people like that exist in every industry. I simply wish them rapid failure with as few victims as possible.

Kristen Kirby

Role: Web Designer

I’ve been a web designer/developer for over 10 years, and I’d like to think I've learned a few things here and there, one of them being how to spot a non-paying client. But every so often a client comes along and the right brain takes over the left brain, and your sense of greater good overcomes the tiny red flags that keep piling up.

My most recent non-payer was a fellow I’ll call Slim, who wanted a website for a sales business that seemed somewhat like a pyramid scheme. This was my first clue. I had my doubts about this guy, his attitude was very "I'm better than you," and he wouldn't let me get through a sentence without interrupting me. But I needed the work at the time, so I gave Slim a quote a good bit higher than what I'd normally charge (at least the red flags served some purpose in this case).

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